As part of a project to stop my brain from turning into a stony mush I have just calculated that in the last nine months the birds in the garden have consumed a quantity of sunflower seeds equal to the weight of 3,409 blue tits, although I’ve not allowed for the discarded husks. (37.5 kilos divided by 11 grams, which is the weight of the average blue tit, to show my workings.)

I ordered some more sunflower seeds from the RSPB and at the end of the transaction appeared the phrase “I helped give nature a home”. But will nature give me one?